Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts

Thursday, August 18, 2011

It Is About to Begin: The Children Come to College

As college campuses become flurries of activity, those of us who work for and with students have mixed feelings.
Although
 with the exception of eating chocolate, or smothering a filet with steak sauce, perhaps everything has mixed feelings involved.

Kids have been pampered, ignored, abused, spoiled, or well-parented.
Guess which ones do well, and who does not?
Well, it is the kids from well-parented that do best, follwed by those from strict or even abusive homes-- but households high in permissiveness tend to produce children who have trouble in school.
See the volumes of research, such as that from Richard Steinberg, which i used in my graduate work.

Two continuums:
strictness/supervision/limits/rules
and warmth/openness/acceptance/discussion

If a parent is High in Both, that is the optimum situation.

Low in both is called NEGLECT. worst outcome.

I will post more academics (right here) here shortly with details.

In the meantime, students:




not attractive




it is hard, that's ok, get a tutor, be nice to yourself





take care of your whole self




eat pray love




some people use alcohol to TRICK YOU!




remember your beautyful pink brain is still developing...




try to eat well...




if you are a fighter, get to the counseling services and
nip that bad habit in the BUD





Try to let your human intelligence overcome
your cellular instincts. Time to wake up.



at least her uggs match her vomit can.

Are you ready to go to college?

Really??







Thursday, May 19, 2011

Rape, the Legal System and Powerful Men: Athletes, IMF Presidents, and Your Next Door Neighbor

The bottom line is, do we generally believe girls and women when they report that they have been raped? (of course we do
believe without question when
the alleged perpetrator is a pastor, priest, rabbi or woman--)
 (but a testoterone-laden man of entitlement or a rich control freak--whoa nellie. let's not jump to conclusions!)
And,
even if we Know
that they are speaking the truth--more, that they are displaying courage by coming forward, as the consequenses to simply reporting the crime are damaging and significant--
how are the rights of the accused upheld?
Because we abhor the idea that an innocent person is sent to jail, we have safeguards in place in the USA legal system.

I want to discuss the intersection of Power, Sexual assault, Media, and Culture.
First, Watch this, on televsion NBC Today Show this morning.
http://www.today.com/?_r=1




The strange idea of He Said She Said HERE.

MORE here: http://www.k-state.edu/womenscenter/

will post more tomorrow...

OK here is Wendy Murphy's take on Dominique Strauss-Kahn

IT'S ILLEGAL BUT NOT A NEW IDEA TO BLAME (OR PAY OFF) SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIM, BUT THIS TIME THE GLOBAL COMMUNITY HAS EYES WIDE OPEN By Wendy Murphy  For The Patriot Ledger  May 21, 2011 
Call me politically incorrect, but the idea that Dominique Strauss-Kahn, (newly deposed director of an international organization that controls hundreds of billions of banking dollars, and lots of countries as a result), had consensual sex with a hotel maid from West Africa is - umm - preposterous.

Charged with sexual assault and attempted rape, among other things, the former head of the IMF, known as DSK, isn't saying much at the moment, but a bunch of minions, friends and spin docs are working full-time to suggest that the maid either set him up for political reasons, is a prostitute, or both. Either way, the trial balloons are flying about how the whole thing was her fault, was totally consensual, and that Mr. Powerful was dominated and victimized by Ms. Disenfranchised.
At least they’re not making like Arnold’s people, telling stories about how doing the nasty with the maid is a form of genuine affection. Strom Thurmond tried that when it came out that he impregnated his 16-year-old black maid. But even Thurmond's BFFs couldn't say with a straight face that there was something romantic going on.
It's not that people don't have cross-racial and cross-class relationships that are loving - or that a "guy like that" wouldn't choose a poor black maid for a hotel hook-up. It's that among all the possible explanations for what probably went on in the hotel room, the sinister prostitute-ish options are far less plausible than the much stronger likelihood that DSK was recovering from an overdose of Viagara and having a little alone time with himself when opportunity knocked. When he saw that opportunity was wearing a skirt, he pounced.
That he skee-daddled so fast after the maid fled the room that he left his cell-phone at the hotel, says plenty about whether the maid was having a good time.
Now that charges are filed, we have no choice but to sit back and listen to defense shills spin nonsense about how the maid was hired for “special services” (just watch the stories unfold about how "West African women” in that area are prostitutes.) Blink your eyes and the maid will become a hooker, and then listen to the PR pros say things like "you know what those those people are like." And just watch the arrogant parade of racist apologists imply that dark-skinned women are insatiable and that "regular guys" can't be blamed for their actions when overcome by such sexual sirens.

Blah blah blah.
Let's be honest for a minute before the whole thing becomes an international dog and pony show. Actually, "dog and pony" doesn't quite make the point. For a guy with the power and influence of DSK, it will be more like a tsunami and tidal wave show. Kobe Bryant's defense tactics will seem downright gentle by comparison.

At the moment, at least, there's a three-letter reality that says everything about why the maid will soon be destroyed in the press: DNA. When DNA proves that an act occurred - and establishes who did it - there is only one defense: "she wanted it." Getting the public on board with such a defense will require DSK’s people to provide a plausible narrative to explain why a guy like Strauss-Kahn would be interested in consensual sex with a hotel maid. Since nobody will believe Hollywood-generated explanations a la “Maid in Manhattan” and “Pretty Woman”, Strauss-Kahn has no choice (other than accepting responsibility but his lawyers won’t make nearly enough money off a guilty plea) but to paint the maid as an aggressive whore. And because she reportedly suffered injuries, she’ll soon be an aggressive whore who "likes it rough". Thanks to mainstream pornographers, that dumb-ass defense will probably stick (albeit only with dumb-ass jurors).
It's also possible the whole vile story will go "poof" now that DSK is out on bail. Even with an electronic bracelet and armed guards minding his every move 24/7, he is free enough to find a way to influence the maid to develop cold feet. Though influencing a witness not to testify is a crime known as obstruction of justice, our legal system has amply demonstrated its willingness to turn a blind eye to pay-offs in sex-crime cases when the perpetrator is a man of wealth or influence. Embarrassing, I know. And with the whole world watching, such a result would surely diminish an already fading respect for the American legal system - in decline since O.J. and picking up speed. It's hard to know what would be worse - watching a million dollar defense team destroy a vulnerable victim's emotional well-being, or watching a poor minority woman pocket a bundle of cash in exchange for her dignity and her truth.

Here's hoping the same inner strength and sense of morality that inspired her to call police will help her resist cash-driven efforts to make the case go away. Her friends say she is an honest woman of integrity. If so, she will understand that criminal justice, like human beings, is not for sale."

more tomorrow

Monday, April 25, 2011

The Case of Beckett Brennan: Dealing with Rape on College Campuses

My main question is always about the boys and men who commit this crime.

Here is the link:  60minutes/

excerpt:
"... Adjudicating a case of sexual assault on a college campus can be difficult for both the victim and the school, which we found out in the case of Beckett Brennan, who was a student at the University of the Pacific when she reported that she had been raped.

Brennan was a high school all-American basketball player, renowned for her three-point shooting, and recruited by dozens of top colleges. Her father, Barry, had played in the NCAA finals in 1974, and passed his love of the game on to his daughter.
"We built an unbelievable relationship through basketball and on the court," Brennan told Katie Couric.
"Tell me a little bit about what made you fall in love with basketball," Couric asked.

"I enjoyed kind of having it define my ability, and it was nice to kind of be recognized by something that you worked so hard for," she replied.
She accepted a full scholarship at the University of the Pacific, a picturesque school in Stockton, Calif. with 3,000 undergraduates and a successful Division I men's basketball program and a growing women's program.
"And so you had a good year, your freshman year, right?" Couric asked.
"Yes. Great year," Brennan said. "Actually played and made an impact, I'd like to think."

But everything changed for Brennan one Saturday night in May 2008. She went to a party with her teammates at a student housing complex known as the "Townhouses," where she says she drank six shots of vodka. She says later, she found herself stranded at an off-campus party looking for a ride.
"I was offered a ride by two of the men on the men's basketball team. And assuming that we were going back to the Townhouses," Brennan told Couric.
Asked if she felt completely comfortable taking a ride with them, Brennan said, "Yeah. Absolutely. There were no red flags that came up. No reason not to trust them."
When they got back to the Townhouses, she went into one of the basketball player's apartments thinking the party was continuing there. Instead, she claims they led her upstairs into an empty bedroom and raped her. Then, she says, a third basketball player came into the room, pushed her into a closet, and raped her again.

"I remember them saying 'Don't tell anybody, and this is our little secret,'" Brennan told Couric.
"What were you saying to them?" Couric asked.

"Why are you doing this to me? Over and over and over again," she replied.

When it was over, she called friends for help. Back at her dorm, and without her knowledge, one of them recorded her on his cell phone. "And they were like taking off my clothes. I was inside the closet in the corner, trying to like, trying to get away. I don't want anyone to find out. No, I don't. I don't want anybody to find out," she could be heard saying on the recording.

According to a study funded by the Justice Department, 95 percent of victims of sexual assault on college campuses don't report it. And neither did Brennan: not to Stockton Police and not to the university.
The next day, she got through her last final exam and flew home to Colorado. But her friends were worried and upset, and gave that recording to the school. Her assistant coach called her at home.

Brennan told Couric it was then that she told her mom and dad what had happened.
Asked what they said, Brennan said, "That was definitely the hardest conversation I've ever had."
"It's nightmarish. You have rage. You don't know how to act or react, you're just trying to hold things together and process," Barry Brennan said.
Four days after the alleged assault, university police questioned the three basketball players Beckett had identified on the tape as her assailants: Michael Nunnally, Steffan Johnson and Michael Kirby. School officials urged Brennan to report the assault to Stockton Police.

A few weeks later she talked to a detective there, and after that conversation, she decided not to file criminal charges.

"He explained to me the system with cases that involve rape and kinda laid out the facts about it's a 'he said, she said' and kinda scared me," she said. "He used an example of a girl who was, like 16 or 17 who was on the stand for, like 16 hours. I can't even imagine."
The school suggested another option: testify before the university's judicial review board, an internal school disciplinary panel that would guarantee Brennan's identity wouldn't be revealed.

Her parents, Jane and Barry, believed this would be the best course of action. "We were fearful for her safety at that point, just her own mental health," Jane Brennan explained.

But before the hearing, the university gave the Brennans a startling piece of information: another University of the Pacific student was claiming that she had also been raped at the Townhouses just a month before Beckett Brennan.

The school suspected a link and put Brennan in touch with the earlier victim, a former classmate named Krystina Tonetti.

"I just was really shocked that something like that would happen twice in a month," Tonetti said.

Tonetti says she was also drinking at a party at the Townhouses when she was led upstairs, where one man raped her while two others stood by watching. "I just kept saying no. And I kept trying to push him off, because he was really big and he was kind of overpowering," she recalled.

Tonetti says she managed to escape and went to a hospital, where she was interviewed by Stockton Police and administered a DNA rape kit. She decided not to press charges.

While she couldn't identify the men in the room with certainty, Tonetti believed they were University of the Pacific students and agreed to tell her story at Brennan's judicial review board hearing. But when the day came, she was a no show.


"It was starting to get too close to home and too close to my parents finding out, so I didn't go through with it," Tonetti said....



Friday, September 17, 2010

And, We're Off! Sexual Assaults on College Campuses

I'll tell you to what in a moment....

Update.
I just started receiving the reports of battery, threats, sexual assault that each semester brings. I get calls from KU, from western kansas, even from out of state from folks wanting info and referrals.
And then i read articles in the collegian (such as this )
and wonder if the battle is a losing one.
But even in the losing battle, one helps one's comrades who are wounded.
Alcohol is used as a weapon. Drugs and friendliness are used to trick. Hmmmm...
How to use alcohol, drugs and LIES to get what you want from college freshwomen
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