Go blind or deaf?
I've often wondered which I'd rather lose, sight or hearing. I mean, the more I think about it the more I'm sure I want them both.
Going blind?
Reading and writing are, like, my life. I'd have to learn Braille to read, and is that even possible now? I mean, am I too old maybe? Is it like doing a split where if you don't do it when you're little, you never will?
And writing. That would be a nightmare. I'd have to get some kind of computer for blind people { one of my friends has something like that} or dictate. Dictating would be horrible; nothing would ever be private.
I could never see a sunset, or pick out clothes. I'd have to relearn everything from sports, to dance, to just walking around.
And what about dating and getting married? I mean, there are a LOT more important things than looks, but come on...I at least want to KNOW what my husband looks like! I'd have to ask someone to describe him to me. I'd have to have someone describe EVERYTHING to me. It'd be horrible.
And then you have going deaf.
I love music. I could never enjoy my favorite songs again. I could never hear NEW songs again. I couldn't listen to something to calm myself down, get pumped, or cheer up. Even singing might be hard; I don't like it when I can't make sure I sound okay.
I wouldn't be able to hear the music at dance either. I wouldn't be able to stay with the group, or feel the beat. Dancing is possible the thing that makes me feel best in the world. How could I do that without music?
I'd have trouble talking to people, and I LOVE to talk. Sign language would be frustrating and take a lot of time to learn. And just forget about phone conversations.
My mom calling me, the sound of applause after a recital, a smoke alarm. I wouldn't be able to hear any of it. What a nightmare.
Both would be so awful. But I decided once that I think I'd rather go deaf. Sign language would be easier to learn than Braille, and I'd have 2 out of my most important 3 {reading, writing and dancing}. Eyes are important to me. I want to be able to make eye contact and see my children. Losing sight would feel more like a loss of control than to lose hearing.
BUT. If I had to choose where to be BORN blind or deaf, I'd pick being born blind. Learning Braille from the start wouldn't be so bad, and I really wouldn't know what I was missing visually. However trying to form thoughts without the knowledge of sound would be really difficult. I mean, we "hear" words in our heads when we think, right? How would it be if we couldn't do that? It would a real developmental roadblock.
So there you have it. I'd rather go deaf NOW, but I'd rather be BORN blind.
What about you?
~Stephanie
